Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
