Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
