Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
