I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
