I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
