I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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