How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
splinters make it hard to masturbate
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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