his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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