I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
