Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
