a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
