Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
