I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize