Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
