I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
