Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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