I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
