where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
