Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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