the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize