I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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