do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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