This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
