BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize