You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
