To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
