Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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