she smelled like a LAN party
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How's work?
Spinning.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Alive.
So much puke
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
