She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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