On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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