Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
