She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He felt like a one man threesome
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
God, I missed his penis.
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