god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
