Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sarcasm needs its own font
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
