NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up under a house in Key West
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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