i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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