Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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