You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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