Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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