party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
