no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
