after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize