So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
