Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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