why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
