Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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