a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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