like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
