Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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