y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
