sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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