So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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