glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
