It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
