i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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