I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
