Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
