I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
