Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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