grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
