Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
