Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
