Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
