I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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