I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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